It seems like just yesterday that she was placed on my belly, a squalling little pink-skinned bundle. I remember staring at her, half-delirious from no sleep for two months and half mesmerized by the realization that she was finally here. Holding her in my arms that day, I had a difficult time processing that she was mine. I made this, I remember thinking. Here is my heart, outside my body. She snuggled close and I held her in my arms as we both slept.
Was it only three years ago we looked upon you with wonder, little bit?
I should have known that was a taste of things to come! These days, Billa is a blur of activity and motion. She runs everywhere, climbs everything, and is hopping and bouncing from place to place as she soaks in the world around her. Stillness is anathema to every fiber of her being, and "hold still" might as well be said in any other language besides English, it's so foreign to her! As much as I've desired for her to grow, explore, and discover, I creep up beside her at night to watch her as she sleeps. It's the only time she's still long enough for me to drink in her every feature and breath in her little girl scent. It's only been recently that she's been sleeping in her own bed, and I still sometimes feel that loss when I wake up without her snuggled in my arms. My heart aches to hold my baby close.
She moves so fast, I can't even take decent photos of her half the time!
Billa surprises me every single day with yet another concept she's grasped or words she's learned and I experience joy at seeing the world anew through her eyes. I believe that she is part of the source of my new-found optimism in life. How can you not hold a sunny view when you see things from the perspective of a curious toddler? Everything is magical and shiny and new! I am so grateful to God for giving me this life with her.
So much spunk, from head to toe!
We will be celebrating Billa's birthday quietly today, enjoying her favorite foods, going to her favorite places and spending time together as a family. A few months ago, I didn't think Billa would ever have that opportunity again, and yet here we are, still together and still committed. Our daughter is definitely an inspiration towards that goal. She deserves nothing less than our best efforts at working on our marriage and our commitment to be better people.
Sugary, you have graced our lives with sweetness and wonder. We are so grateful for your presence and the light you bring to our lives. Happy 3rd birthday, love! May you have many more!
Mama and Daddy