Sound Off: Popcorn Police

Oh my hell! I am so hopping mad right now! One of my pet peeves is when people burn popcorn. As a concession counter veteran from my teen aged days of having worked at Tinseltown, our mantra was "NEVER BURN THE POPCORN!" And for good reason. If you've ever walked into a movie theatre all excited about the movie you're going to see and then been walloped in the nose with the acrid smell of burnt popcorn, you can understand my irritation. The smell of burnt popcorn is awful and sours any situation super quick.

I don't know who it is, but someone at work keeps bringing in popcorn for a snack and then burns it. This has happened on so many occasions within the past month that the office manager had to send out an email to everyone kindly reminding them of the proper cooking time for popcorn in our microwaves. Personally, I have a feeling that the person in question is following said time but popping one of those little personal bags, which don't nearly require the full 2 minutes and 10 seconds that is recommended here at the office.

Someone needs to enact the Popcorn Police and either force people to pay attention to their pooping kernels or ban popcorn altogether. I am about to get medieval on the popcorn perpetrator's patookus and pound pertinent popcorn protocol into their pea pod of a brain personally!!!! (I couldn't think of a P work for brain. Lemme know if you got one!) It's a damn good thing I'm not pregnant or I'd be yakking all over the place. Part of me says I should figure out who it is and then go yak in their lap anyway, pregnant or not. That'll teach them to walk away from the microwave…

Peeved,
Kelly