Today is a brand new day...

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." Oliver Wendell Holmes

I saw this quote this morning in an email newsletter I receive and I just had to shake my head and smile ruefully when I saw it. It was appropriate given the circumstances of the last 24 hours. I felt really low last night after seeing pictures of myself and my best friend from college and opening my electric bill. But today is a brand new day.

Kellie had told me before that she'd found some pictures on a CD from a few years ago and when we looked at them yesterday, I just had to cringe. Kellie and I used to be able to share the same size shirts and some pairs of pants (unfortunately shoes could never enter the picture, I'm an 8 and she's a 6). Four kids and five years later, neither one of us can share anything and we can't fit into our wedding dresses. I know that a lot of women can't fit into their wedding dresses after having babies and I am OK with that. What I ma not OK with is the pain in my right knee, the double digit number on my pants label, my dwindling wardrobe, and the increasing triple digits on my bathroom scale. So we made a pact yesterday: every weekday night at 8 pm we are going to workout together, no excuses. Our husbands already do it at 5 am, and while I don't think 8 pm is the best time for anyone to be working out, it's all we have. But today is a brand new day.

On top of dreading my mile walk with Kellie this evening, we opened our electric bill to find almost $400 in charges. Granted, $150 of that was actually paid, but the bill was printed before that got reflected in the figures. We've been very vigilant about trying to turn off lights, make the most of daylight, turn up the thermostat before we leave and unplug appliances when not in use. But that bill is yet another reminder of just how desperate our situation is becoming and that we've already done as much as fiscally possible to cut our costs and bring in additional income. It just doesn't seem to be enough. But today is a brand new day.

I cried myself to sleep last night thinking that it was hopeless and that I had no idea how we were going to get out of this mess and get back on track. I prayed like I've never prayed before and I realized something as I fell asleep: 1) that no one was to blame but us and 2) I'm a victim only if I choose to be. And something changed within me last night. Sybilla never woke up once nor did she crawl into bed with us this morning. I woke up on time and despite crazy dreams and occasionally waking up after them, I felt refreshed and renewed this morning. I got to work on time and I got right down to business. Today is a brand new day.

I still have no idea how we'll get through this, but my strength is renewed and my faith in my abilities restored. I can lose the extra 30 pounds I'm carrying. We will find a way to bring in more income and cut our expenses further. We will find a way to live our lives and not just survive from day to day. TODAY IS A BRAND NEW DAY.

Hopefully,
Kelly & the Gang

Declaration of War

I am now on my second cup of coffee and pissed off at the prospect of having to purchase a new iron.

Billa and I are going to her godsister's first birthday party this morning and I had decided a couple of days ago that I would wear a sweet little floral top I got from Michael's stepmom. I wore this top on my birthday and the only reason I have not worn it since is because I hate ironing and haven't found the time to iron the front placket that goes behind the buttons. So I told myself I'd finally belly up to the bar and do it.

I set the iron to steam and went to put on my makeup, giving it time to heat up. After about 10 minutes I went to start ironing. But no steam was coming out. In fact, it didn't feel hot at all. That's odd, I thought. I checked the plug. Still plugged in. I checked the water level. Still had water. I tried again and that's when I noticed the tiny little black ants crawling out of the water reservoir. What the...?

I took the iron into the bathroom where there's better light and sure enough, they are crawling like crazy out of my iron and even worse, the water has a couple of floaties which weren't visible in the bedroom light. I turn the iron upside to shake out the water and to my shock and disgust, THOUSANDS of little black ant bodies fall out in clumps from my iron. Not only am I throughly grossed out, but now my bloody iron is dead because it is chock full of colony!

I spent 15 minutes pouring water in and out until I started seeing tiny transparent golden lumps which turned out to be larvae. Apparently I had found the Mother Ship of the little black ants. It makes me shudder right now to think about the stages of growth that have been happening inside of our iron for the past couple of months. It riles me to think that my birthday party attire now has to rethought. And it really pisses me off that I am now going to have to buy a new iron and an airtight lockbox to store it in. This means war!!!

We've tried grits and citrus oil as natural means to ward off the ants, but their activities have increased in the last few days. They've turned up in odd places, like Billa's bed and of course, the iron. I have now come to terms with the fact that I will have to stuff my hippie ideals into a drawer temporarily so as to rid my home of this plague. I'm going to have to get the apartment people to find me an exterminator ASAP because I don't know how much longer I can go wondering what other items in my home are hiding more colonies of destruction.

But in the meantime, I need to find something else to wear and get another cup of coffee to calm down.

Ciao,
Kelly

God grant me the serenity...

Sybilla has certainly been keeping us on our toes this week.

On Monday, she tore up a library book because I wasn't putting dinner on the table fast enough. I just about freaked out over the damage to the book and then really lost it when I couldn't find any tape to fix it with. After yelling at no one in particular and slamming drawers and enduring a lot of crying from both parties, Billa and I had a little chat about the importance of books and I subsequently removed them all from within her reach. God help the rest of our books should she fly into a hunger induced rage...

On Tuesday, she bonked heads with another child at daycare seconds before I walked in the door to pick her up. When the door opened, there was my child making this awful yipping noise and crying mightily. I've seen big ol' crocodile tears a lot lately, but this was genuine, honest to goodness "I'm hurt" crying. A switch flipped inside me and it was like the red alert in a submarine. All I saw was red and my brain was screaming "SEEK AND DESTROY, KILL KILL KILL!" It took every bit of strength to calm myself down and comfort Sybilla. Fortunately, everyone was alright in the end although my poor husband almost got his head torn off when he dared to cross me when I got home. That mama bear bloodlust feeling takes a while to dissipate, apparently. I never understood how some moms could get all crazy when they felt their kids were threatened, but I get it now!

On Wednesday, she decided to be Little Miss Selfish and got her just desserts for it too. Billa had developed an affinity for the sink footstool at daycare screaming at anyone who dared to get near it. Bless his little heart, one of the boys decided to cross swords with my fierce warrior and paid the price. She got so worked up that she whipped the stool out from under him as he was stepping on it, knocking him onto his rear end and popping herself in the face with the stool in the process. Daycare lady decided enough was enough and banished the aforementioned footstool to another part of the house and replaced it with a chair to prevent anymore fights. Of course, I received a phone call at work to tell me all of this, so I was incredibly embarrassed and amused in equal turns. My child now has a little goose egg above her eye where she hit herself and we had yet another chat on behaviour.

Today being Thursday, I really hope that Billa decides to behave herself because I have some cakes to bake tonight, but if not, well, I won't be surprised. I just hope I can make it through the rest of the week alive!

Counting white hairs until then,
Kelly

Picasa Pictures Updated

Howdy everybody!

I have been reminded by my dear ol’ dad that I have neglected to update my Picasa account with anything past Easter. Apologies, Pop…so without further ado, I have updated the account with some new photos for your perusal! Simply click over on the slideshow on the right hand side and you’ll be taken to our Picasa account which you can then peruse all of the multiple albums we have. Enjoy!

Ladies and Gentleman... Gumerry the Gray has left the building...

Tonight is a bit melancholy for me. My first baby, my bunny cat, my Gummery the Gray, Conqueror of all that is Paper, Q-Tip, and Hair Tie has left us for greener pastures. Literally, actually, if my coworker's comments about the watering schedule in College Station have me believe. But it's for the better. And before you start consoling me on the passing of my kitty cat, please note that he has not died, but rather gone to live with my younger brother, Philip.

The Conqueror himself

Gumerry is named for a grizzled, gray grandfather character in a series of books (which was made into a rather unfortunate movie) called the Dark is Rising. Being that he's a genuine farm cat, we aren't quite entirely sure of the exact day of his birth, but he came into the world during a very dark time for all Americans, September 11, 2001. Michael and I started dating on October 17, 2001 and it was not long after that Gumerry came to live with me (albeit illegally) in my apartment for good. So having Gumerry leave us is a very jarring thing, given that he has been a constant in our relationship for the last seven and a half years.

As the last of our great farm cats, Gumerry was a solid 23# at his peak and the vet actually told us that given his build, that was OK. Gumerry is the linebacker of kitty cats. My brother was always jealous that I got the gray one and admired him from afar. He'd recently given away his previous cat (Aprilia had some SERIOUS issues) and was hankering for another. So I told him, should we ever decide to give up Gumerry, Philip was first on the list.

Even though Gumerry has been part of our family from the beginning, we just haven't had the time and patience for him like we thought we would. I feel guilty about this fact, but when you have a toddler who demands all of your attention, it can be very hard to lavish what little energy you have left on your fur children. I guess the upshot is that sweet gray fuzzball will finally get the attention he deserves, my allergies won't be as bad, we won't have to spend the $25 a month on cat supplies, and I don't have to worry about unsuspecting puddles of water in the pantry anymore (Gumerry is notorious for playing in his water bowl and making the biggest mess known to mankind). And I can actually stretch my legs out full in bed now too. [sigh] Those still don't negate the fact that I am willingly letting go of one of my dearest companions.

I shall miss you little prince... but I know that you are in a better home now. So goodnight, sweet prince; may flights of angels sing thee to thy new home!

Oh, and Philip? Since I know you will read this... you better take care of my cat or the full brunt of my wrath will destroy you...

[sniff]
Kelly