Friday, January 27, 2012

Pachyderms, Leaks, and R.O.U.S.'s

I need a moment to bitch.

I am so effing tired of living in apartments.  I am tired of poor quality buildings in which every noise can be heard.  I am tired of inconsiderate neighbors who don’t give a rat’s ass about their stomping and banging at all hours of the day and night.  I am tired of giant unknown critters living in my ceiling, banging about on the pipes and scratching at my ceiling.  I am tired of being tired because I can’t sleep at night, thanks to the pack of pachyderms living upstairs and the R.O.U.S.

I’m also irritated with the apartment complex staff for sending me a lovely warning notice stating that I have three days to remove the non-patio furniture from my patio.  Apparently, using a shelf to display my plants is considered non-patio furniture.  This is apparently much higher on the priority list for them than noise complaints and critters  And I’m paying close to a grand a month for what now?

[Big exhale]

Thank you for allowing me that.  As you can see, things have been pretty frustrating the last few days.  The people who moved in above us are a family of five, and they don’t speak English at all, so trying to ask them to soften their footsteps is nigh to impossible. All of the stomping has been setting my teeth on edge and I’m getting really tired of having this conversation:

[Thumping upstairs]
Billa: Mommy, what dat noisy?
Me: It’s the people upstairs, honey.

One to five minutes later...
[Thumping upstairs]
Billa: Mommy, what dat noisy?
Me: It’s the people upstairs, honey.

One to five minutes later...
[Thumping upstairs]
Billa: Mommy, what dat noisy?
Me: [gritting teeth] What do you think it is, sweetheart?
Billa: [shrugs] I not know.
Me: [jumps out of window screaming]

Yes, this happens on a regular reoccurring basis, at least 30 times a day (sans the window jumping, of course).  I know I am prone to exaggeration, but when my guests comment on how the walls are shaking and look at me in wide-eyed wonder like I’m a martyr, I ain’t telling tall tales people.  This shit is for real. And I’ve just about had it!

The R.O.U.S. was one thing.  Annoying yes, but at least it didn’t keep us all up at odd hours of the night.  And an R.O.U.S. can easily be removed and destroyed if need be.  Evicting an entire family solely on the basis that they are noisy and rude is not legal.  It's been done, but I'm not that cold-hearted.

Oh! and don’t get me started on the leak in Billa’s bathroom.  Y’know, the one we didn’t discover until our new neighbors moved in a couple of days ago.  Since they’ve moved in and have been using the shower that sits above Billa’s bathroom, a massive leak has been discovered. I’m talking at least a gallon of water on the floor and dripping into the tub from a 5 minute shower upstairs.  The soffit is so soft that Michael accidentally pushed his finger through it when he barely touched it.  The floorboards are soaked and soggy as well.  AWESOME.

I really like this community.  I really want to.  But between the awful animal smell when we moved in (which now I wonder if it's from the R.O.U.S. and not the previous tenant's dog), the broken oven, the noisy neighbors, the R.O.U.S., being reprimanded for my plant stand, and the horrendous leak in the second bathroom, I have just about had all I can take.  And we’re barely into the second month of living there, y’all.  I have never wanted a house so badly in my life.  If this is the Big Man’s way of motivating us towards that goal, He doesn’t need to tell me twice!

That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it,

Kelly

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