2012, I'm Breaking Up With You

Dear 2012,

The last 366 days have been…interesting.  There were some pretty good moments, and a lot of necessary healing and growth occurred during our time together, but no offense 2012, I’m really hoping that 2013 is less dramatic and painful than you were.

 

Of course, it’s not to say that our time together was all bad.  There were certainly some wonderful moments peppered in with those less than savory days. 

Our time together saw Michael and I enter the Dirty Thirty Birthday Club.  It also saw us enter some much needed marriage counseling, which has been stellar.  Of course, the events that led us there weren’t so awesome.  Whatevs.  Water under the bridge, right?

This year also ushered in a new phase of our parenting: we have a preschooler now!  Sybilla ADORES school (I will never forget her disappointment that summer couldn’t end fast enough) and is flying through her achievements like nobody’s business.  Our fridge is covered in more art projects than we have magnets for, and we are deluged with constant requests on how to spell various words.  I won’t lie…I am excited to see what 2013 holds in this department!

Additionally, we were finally able to move out of our old ratty apartment, complete with pest infestation, mold problems, and paper thin walls into a two story duplex that meets all of our needs and then some.  Now that I can finally proudly display my grandmother’s china cabinet, I feel so grown up.  And a backyard!  I actually have to maintain it and set my garbage by the curb and everything too!

Lastly, the Mayan calendar ended, but the world did not.  Kinda glad for that, aren’t you?

Our time together wasn’t a total loss.  But events over the last few weeks have made me realize that all good things must come to an end, and it’s time for us to part ways 2012.  I’m sorry that it had to end on a sour note (really, 2012, wrecking my husband’s car three days prior to NYE is not exactly an endearing quality).  Maybe after we’ve spent some time apart and had a chance to be on our own, we’ll be able to look back more fondly and recall the good ol’ days with each other.  I know this is hard for you, especially with 2013 right here, but I think you’ll agree that it’s for the best.  I could try and tell you that it’s me, not you, but that would be a lie, and I still have some respect for you.

If it makes you feel any better, I’m not making any resolutions for 2013.  I can’t imagine making them with anyone else right now.  I think after all of them pretty much backfired with you, I’m beginning to think that maybe resolutions just aren’t for me.  I may come out at the end of my time with 2013 and think that otherwise, but only time will tell.

Sincerely,

Kelly  

Hello bloggy world, and Happy New Year!

It’s been awhile since we’ve chatted.  A lot has happened since then! We moved to a new apartment, Michael’s sister Michelle got married, and we made it through the holiday season in one piece. Phew!

The dust has been settling slowly but surely, and these are the things on my horizon:

Resolutions – I’ve refrained from making an actual list this year, but my tradition of keeping a theme for the year has not changed.  After hearing the same phrase pop up a few times on different occasions at church, I’ve decided the phrase “be faithful in the little things” is my theme for this year.  It comes from Matthew 23:25 and Luke 16:10 and I think it’s a really powerful phrase to hold close to my heart.  I think it’s God’s way of telling me that I need to slow down and pay attention to everything around me.  I have a tendency to rush things to get to the end result faster, sometimes cutting corners or people, and while I might get what I was looking for, I find myself dissatisfied because I didn't truly enjoy the journey and the experience.  I know this isn’t necessarily the original intent of that scripture passage, but God speaks to each of us in His own way.  And for me, I feel that I need to slow down and be faithful in the little things this year.

Esme Barrera & Ben Breedlove – if you’re not from Austin, you may not know who either of these people are, but they are extraordinary nonetheless.  Ben passed away from a chronic heart ailment at the age of 18 on Christmas Day.  He left behind an incredible YouTube video about his near death experiences that inspired a lot of people and touched a lot of hearts (the link above takes you to Part 1 of his video, which will then direct you to Part 2 when you're ready).  Esme Barrera was brutally murdered in her home on NYE and her death has rocked the live music and arts communities here in Austin.  She was virtually unknown to the rest of the world, but her kindness, generosity, passion for music and helping others (particularly kids), along with her cheerfulness are all anyone can talk about.  An article in the local paper moved me so much, I pasted it on my wall in my cubicle as a reminder of the kind of person I want to be like.  Hearing the stories of these two remarkable young people has left me humbled and inspired.

Forks Over Knives – Michael and I watched this documentary the other night.  We’ve been meaning to eat healthier for a long time, but after seeing the documentary and doing some subsequent research, changing our eating habits is long overdue.  My biggest challenges will be ditching the bacon, cheese, and sugary treats, but the possible benefits of a whole foods plant based diet are really motivating.  If it can reverse diabetes and heart disease, why not asthma, allergies, and chronic anxiety (my triple A’s!)?

Babies – after seeing so many babies over the holiday season, both Michael and I were hit by baby fever HARD.  We’ve decided that we’re going to go ahead and start trying for baby #2 this year.  This time though, we’re not going to stress about it like we did with Sybilla. If the Big Man Upstairs decides to grant us another child in our life, we will accept that blessing according to His schedule.  If it’s meant to be, it will be. And if it's not, we're ok with that too.

Financial Peace University – our church is starting off the year with a great series about finances, and they’re starting FPU classes. Michael and I have waffled on it before, but this time, we are
absolutely certain we want to do it.  We’re tired of feeling like we can’t really live our lives because of our finances.  It makes me cringe when I think about how we've treated our money in the past.  It makes my brain hurt to even think about changing the way I view money (much less actually change that viewpoint), but when I think about continuing to live my life the way we have, it makes me sad and miserable.  I’d rather buckle down for one year of my life and enjoy the years after that than live all of my life in misery.

Writing – I’ve been putting off a lot of my writing the last few months because of work, moving, the wedding, etc, etc, etc.  I threw myself a huge pity party and woke up the next morning with a mental hangover.  As I sat there kicking around the imaginary beer bottles, I decided enough was enough and vowed that 2012 is the year that I’m dumping my inner critic and telling her to piss off.  I’m going to get published, y’all.  I don’t know when, I don’t know how. But it’s gonna happen.  I guarantee it.

That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.

Happy (belated) New Year,
Kelly

Goodbye 2010, Hellooooooo 2011!

I have to admit, I'm probably more excited about 2011 than most people.  Given how intense and um, challenging 2010 turned out, I'm hoping that this new year will be much more positive and relaxed.  I know it's a bit silly, because anyone can make a change at any given point, it doesn't just have to be January 1st.  But there is something about New Year's that makes me feel the start and end of something so strongly.  In our case, it is the end of Year of Perspective and Introspection.

Due to our separation this year, my husband and I have had done a lot of introspection.  We took time to look inward and really examine ourselves, our behaviors, our feelings and more.  We are fortunate that our actions led us to a new perspective.  What we learned is that nothing is more than our marriage and our family.  And it's not just the basic concepts either; we realized and understood that while two individuals make up a team, it's only when that team works together that they can win.  It isn't enough to feel those things are important, you have to work to make them important.  We had placed too much focus on our individual selves and goals instead of our joint ones. 

As difficult as 2010 was for me, I am incredibly grateful to the Big Man Upstairs for placing this obstacle in my path.  I was given a glimpse of a possible future in my life and I won't lie, I didn't like it, nor did I want it.  I know too many of my own loved ones who now have to blaze that trail, and my heart aches for them.  I am a stubborn and proud woman at times (ok, a lot of times), and I had to fall really hard to learn what was truly important to me.  I know how blessed I am to be given a second chance, and it's one I won't take lightly again. 

I look forward to the prospects and challenges that 2011 will provide for us; i hope that it too, is a challenging year, but in a different way.  We have yet to really sit down and think about our resolutions for the new year, but you can bet it is something that we will be doing together!

I hope that you all have a happy and blessed new year, and that everyone is safe tonight as they celebrate the passing of the old, and the birth of the new!

Happy New Year!
The Guerra Family 

Ladies and Gentlemen...Christmas has left the building!

We won't spend much time talking about last night suffice it to say if I see one more newspaper headline that has the word TIDE in it, I may puke.  I really really really wish my Horns had won.  Oh well, at least we have great things to look forward to with Garrett Gilbert!

I worked from home today because I didn't want to deal with the crazy cold we're experiencing (33F as of writing this, but it was 27F most of the day) and because it was a slow day.  During some of the slower moments today, I started packing away the Christmas stuff.  We always leave Christmas up until January 6th for two reasons: 1) it's my mom's birthday and 2) technically the Christmas season ends on that day.  Yeah, bet you didn't know that.  The twelve days of Christmas actually start on Christmas Day and then run until January 6, which is the day the Magi found the baby Jesus and brought their gifts to him.  Michael had the day off so he helped me and we rearranged the living room too, while we were at it.

Here's the room before:

Ok, you really can't see too much, but I'm sitting in front of the couch and the tree was across from the fireplace. The TV is behind the tree in this picture and a chair normally sits where the lemon tree in the background is.

And after:

I only have four boxes and one shopping bag of Christmas decorations.   I think we may have to get a coffee table now with all that space!

I'm sad that Christmas is gone, but it's so much more special when you have to wait for it!  Now I just have to find a way to recreate the soft sparkly lighting that the Christmas tree lights made...I really liked that effect in the living room!

Happy Friday,
Kelly

One Word for the New Year

A few weeks ago I had a few minutes to myself at work in between meetings and I was suddenly reminded about how close we were coming to the end of the year. I decided to take the few minutes and pen down some of my resolutions with the plan that I would prep them later for automatic posting this morning.  But true to form, even the most well intentioned plans go awry!  One of my favorite blogs posed a different interpretation of the resolution – choose only one word to represent the theme for what you want to accomplish this year.  'One word?!'  I thought.  'But I've already written hundreds!'  I could have shoved Sarah's advice to the wayside and said 'Whatever!' but I like a good challenge.  Besides, I've already done half the work, right?  All I have to do is re-read them and decide what word fits best.  Done!

Not so fast, Kemosabe.  I started to notice a theme amongst my resolutions, a theme that was originally described as ME.  Choosing the word ME as my theme of the year seemed a bit, well, selfish.  But the reason I had chosen these resolutions was because I had felt that I've lost myself recently.  I've been feeling neglected and unhappy with myself and I knew that if I didn't do something about it, no good would come of it.  But I couldn't just say ME as a theme; there were other resolutions, ones that didn't  involve ME per se, things like stengthening relationships that have been neglected and spend more time together as a family, etc.  What word could be used to describe both of these aspects that I wanted to focus on?  'I'm doomed,' I thought.  'I've chosen to take on this challenge and I'll never be able to see it through! [Insert Equity scream here]'

And then Michael came up with the word.  We were driving out to Wimberly to visit with his aunt and Uncle and grandmother and he mentioned that we should choose one word for our resolutions.  Hold the wedding, what!?
"Have you been reading my favorite blog?" I asked him, shocked and delighted.
"No, I just thought it might be a good idea."  he shrugged.  I couldn't argue with that. 
"Well, what's your word then?" I asked, after explaining my excitement and the challenge issued by my favorite blogger.
"Simplicity." he answered. 
"Huh."  I grunted.  That was a good answer.  Definitely something we could work on.  But it just didn't jive with me.  "I don't know what to choose for me.  I had all these resolutions written out, and now...poof!  I can't think of one word to sum them up.  Except ME."  I explained glumly.
"What's wrong with ME?"
"Because it's selfish, that's why!  I can't make the theme of my year ME!"  He was quiet for a moment before speaking.
"I've got one for you."
"What?" I asked, curious.
"Invest."
"Invest?"
"Yeah.  You DO need to focus on yourself, so any of those things you plan to do will be an investment in you."
I paused to mull it over.  It sounded good, definitely less selfish than ME.  And it fit perfectly with my other resolutions as well!
"That's perfect, hon!"  I smiled.  "Thanks."
"You're welcome."  He squeezed my hand.  "You're definitely worth investing in."
(Hands off ladies and gents–this one's mine!)

So...[drum roll]...my theme for 2010 is INVEST.  I plan on investing in myself and my future, in my financial standing, in my relationships, and in my hopes and dreams.  I plan on being healthy in mind, body and soul.  I plan on investing in the relationships I have and making new ones.   I plan on getting my finances in order and getting us to a more stable place.  And I plan on pursuing some dreams that have been gathering dust for a little while and exploring my creative boundaries.  I've got some big goals and a lot of work ahead of me, but I'm gonna do it, come hell or high water!

Happy New Year,
Kelly

Happy New Year 2010!

Well, kids, another decade has passed us by.  I hope that you all had a safe and fun new year's eve!


Michael and I dropped Sybilla off to stay with  Michael's mom overnight and used some of the gift cards we received over Christmas to go to dinner and then to see Avatar.  The movie is amazing and I highly recommend seeing it if you have not.  We got home just in time to crack open a bottle of champagne and join in the countdown on Dick Clark's Rockin' Eve Party with Ryan Seacrest.  No lie, that was the entire title of the show, lol.  And Dick...we love you man, but seriously, lose the self tanner!  (How old is he anyway?)  I'm now headed off to bed while Michael has headed out to go pick up some friends (don't worry, he had two sips of champagne and that was it).

To all of you, Happy New Year...may it be filled with friends, family, fun, food, and good fortune!

Cheers,
Kelly

PS Rabbit Rabbit!

Happy New Year Friends and Family!

Hurray for 2009! It doesn’t seem that long ago that we were all waiting anxiously to see if Armageddon was on our doorstep and we’d be heading out to find the Twinky factory. But Y2K passed us on and now 8 (or 9? math was always a little fuzzy for me!) years later, we are looking at 2009. Michael and I were trying to figure out what we were doing this time last year, but considering how pregnant I was, we were most likely in bed and trying to ignore the illegal fireworks going off in the neighborhood (we were in critical drought mode then and living “in the country” where a burn ban and fireworks ban was in place). This year, we kicked it in our living room drinking champagne and watching Prince Caspian while our the baby slept away in her crib.

2008 was definitely the year of babies! In addition to the birth of our darling Sybilla, many other precious bundles have entered the world and we are thankful for them all. They are a reminder that even thought things are tough, life goes on. It was also a year of change in many ways; jobs, homes, and politics. Where one door closed on my career, another one (much more fortuitous at that!) opened and for Michael too. We moved into a new place and so did some of our friends, marking new beginnings in our lives as young families. And lastly, we've elected our first black president! I know I've said it before, but it wasn't that long ago that Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat and that MLK, Jr. was sharing his dream. This year is definitely something to be telling the grandkids someday.

As 2008 passes into history, we are grateful to have what we have, be where we are, and to be ringing in the New Year with our little family safe and sound. A new year means new beginnings with new resolutions and new things to look forward to. We hope that in this new year we will be celebrating more good than bad and that we will get to share it all with you!

Be safe and Happy New Year!

Slainte!
Kelly, Michael, Sybilla & last but not least, Gumerry the Gray Destroyer of All Things Paper, Q-Tip, Hairtie and the Occasional Dropped Tamale Bite From the Squealing Two Legged Creature Who Pets Him Most Ferociously and Forces Him Into Hiding on Days Ending in Y